hard to find and hard to get, originally uploaded by the notebook doodles.
i am continually facing this season of change.
i have come to terms with some things about myself
and have come to realize weaknesses in large areas of my life.
i have deficiencies in certain things that i’ve allowed to
run dry that i shouldn’t have.
i have given my whole heart to things that needed to not
even have a hand in it.
i’m in a process of evaluating where i keep investing my
heart and love. i’m trying to filter out the toxic and allow
myself to bring in the healthy. that means that some people
won’t have an in into my life anymore. so be it. i’ve done
what i could to rectify things and have bent over backwards
countless times. i was only put into a position where i had
to prove myself and run myself into the ground repeatedly
to achieve nothing other than to be made to believe i was
a bad person. i’m done with that. so, good riddance. i know
God will continue to bless your life. I just choose not to be
part of it any longer.
i’ve been learning to be comfortable in my own skin.
things i have come to terms with:
- i’m blunt and bold. shameless at times.
- i lack a filter. i’m kind of not sorry.
- i am not athletically inclined and the only sport i will watch it soccer.
- i like super heroes and nerdy things.
- i also know how to use tools/power tools and am in the process of filling a tool box.
- respect for people and things is a big deal.
- i tend to pour out and run myself dry. i also keep trying to run on empty only to realize it does have its consequences.
- i’m not vindictive or passive aggressive. i will be, however, if things persist after i confront the situation. repeatedly.
- i’m a homebody.
- i grew up a tomboy, so suck it if i’m not super girly.
- but i am in the process of domesticating myself
- dishes are a chore i enjoy. it’s sick, i know.
- i have terrible self-esteem and tend to beat myself up a lot.
- consideration and common courtesy should be taught all the time. i’ve come to terms with that.
- every time someone snores, i will wake up. i also will not be able to fall back asleep. so, with that, i apologize if i throw stuffed animals and pillows at you to wake you up and make you stop snoring.
- i’m still learning about myself.
- learning to be comfortable in my own skin is hard. especially at 21 since i’ve been forced to be what everyone else wanted of me for my whole life, so pardon if i seem a little off some days.
